Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What to do?

Gah! I just don't know what to do. As you may have read in a previous post I mentioned I was having a "WTF" moment with regards to competing. Unfortunately it seems to have consumed me this weekend. I don't know what to do sometimes... Should I compete? Should I not compete? Am I just being f'n lazy? I know this time around is going to be harder. I was happy with my condition at my last show because I'd bettered my previous condition. This time I want to get leaner and look better and it is going to be hard.

I'm also very torn by the fact that competing really is not that healthy. Well, it's healthy up unto a point and I do prep a lot better than a lot of people in the way that I don't cut out food groups. I still eat all types of meat, vegetables of all colours, fruit, dairy... you name it. I really love trying out new recipes and eating healthy. I do really have to be mindful of my health when it comes to dieting and training because of my health condition - I just can't keep pushing like a lot of people or I could make myself sick. In that way it's a blessing, I have to be healthy by default Photobucket

I do want to get leaner. I'm still probably holding at least 5lbs more fat than I am comfortable with. It's not that I'm not lean enough... more the fact that I'm already quite a large person and if I don't get leaner then I have trouble fitting into my size 14 clothes. I really am fitting comfortably in the size 16's at this point, but I don't want a new wardrobe. I envy all those tiny girls with muscle - they can build to their hearts content and still shop in normal stores. I'm on the brink of fat lady stores Dry and it does depress me a little. I like being muscular but not if it means I can't fit into normal sized clothes!

I think I'm just going to continue to prep and see how I feel about it in a couple of months. At the moment my regime is pretty reasonable - lifting 4 times a week and cardio-ing 2-4 times a week. Anyway, feel free to post your thoughts or encouragement cos I need it.

Today and yesterday I had a break from dieting. Yesterday was our wedding anniversary so that was going to be a cheat meal and beers anyway. So yesterday I only ended up eating one meal and drinking beer... LOL. Today was pretty healthy, but I didn't count anything. I had eggs benedict for breakfast, a berry smoothie and green curried tofu with roasted veggies for dinner. Definitely not enough protein but oh well.

Actually let me give you that tofu recipe as it is divine (thanks Sam!)

Roasted Green Curry Tofu

1 block of organic tofu drained and patted dry
100ml organic coconut cream
1 heaped tablespoon of green curry paste
chopped vegetables tossed in olive oil, cracked pepper and sea salt. I used 1/2 red pepper, red onion, roasted pumpkin and brussel sprouts.

Mix coconut cream and curry paste together. Marinate the tofu in coconut cream and green curry paste mixture for 30 minutes. Place in baking dish and surround with chopped veggies. Bake in oven @ 200 degrees celcius for about 30 minutes or until tofu is crispy. You can use the chemical tofu and coconut cream I just listed what ingredients I used Photobucket


  1. I would have never figured that you were a size 14 (but is there a difference between an american size 14 and an Aussie size 14?)


  2. Not a lot of difference. Aus size 14 = American size 12. I'm pretty much a US 14 anyway cos I'm more comfy in the 16's here.

  3. Awh shucks girl. You are (probably) a natural athlete anyway, just judging by what I have seen on the forum and in your youtube videos, so if competing in figure/bodybuilding isn't working for you, why not give running or triathlons a go?? I would stick with 10ks (I think that's 6 miles or so) so you're not losing a lot of the muscle you gained. And you would still be competing in one respect.

  4. It's funny that you posted about how unhealthy competing is because I was just thinking about that the other day after reading a couple of journals on O2. Have you thought about getting more into something like powerlifting?

  5. krispy - to be honest I'm not really interested in PLing. I had a go and didn't really get the bug. Plus, I really don't want to get any bigger than I am... I'm having enough trouble with my clothes as it is :-/

    Jaymin - I think I will be content just to play a sport or do my own thing. I don't need to compete :-)

  6. Hey girl! I know your debate all too well & while I did enjoy competing, I did NOT enjoy the effects of the uber-tarded diet that screwed me up! I do feel your pain on the "big girl" syndrome though. I guess it could be worse. I could've had an apple body & bird legs like my Mom! haha

    Anyway, I'm just content to run my races, live a healthy lifestyle & enjoy myself.

    You'll find what makes you happy & in the meantime just know that you are living well!

    ps..Happy Anniversary!!!!!

  7. ok.. heres a thought for you, putting aside your thoughts and feelings for a minute.. this is about me now :p you know I want you to compete. selfish reasons of course. and not to mention you encouraged me and made me talk Kristen into it too, to do this one. grrrr. hehe. but maybe.. praps, if you think less.. and just do. I don't know if this will motivate you or not, but I think its cool. have you thought perhaps, of having a prof. photo shoot done, or even body casting.. as in, a bronze cast of your torso. and just using the competition to get yourself to that, make it your last one? :D

  8. I do want to, it's just hard working through lack of motivation. I just wonder if I'm attempting this too soon - I don't know. I'm not finding diet too bad (which arguably is the most important part) just mostly discouraged about lifting. Maybe I'll just cardio for a while and just do once a week workouts. Also, the new gym sux :-( The gym was the only good thing about living here!

  9. Dooooooo it!!!!! I always do that before I start the season.... "Why am I doing this?" and then I get into it and remember why. I don't think you'd be questioning if there wasn't a part of you that wanted to.

    I know it goes against your logic. I'm right there with you. I know it goes against what you want for your offseason body.

    You can always come up with a different plan for offseason... less lifting, higher carb/lower protein.....

    Di, you can make your body do anything you want it to! You know this.

    I just think you'll get the fire again at some point and wish you'd started your season earlier.

    You don't have to make it make sense to know that you love it. I say do it.

    Your physique is too beautiful not to.

  10. Mandy, thanks for the pep talk. It was just what I needed. I think you're right - I will work towards it at least.

    I feel like I don't have enough time sometimes - not because I feel like I'm overfat right now, just because I know how sloooooow I lose the fat.

    This time though, I have little concern about actually keeping mass - I might push a little harder just to get that bit leaner.