Gah! I just don't know what to do. As you may have read in a previous post I mentioned I was having a "WTF" moment with regards to competing. Unfortunately it seems to have consumed me this weekend. I don't know what to do sometimes... Should I compete? Should I not compete? Am I just being f'n lazy? I know this time around is going to be harder. I was happy with my condition at my last show because I'd bettered my previous condition. This time I want to get leaner and look better and it is going to be hard.
I'm also very torn by the fact that competing really is not that healthy. Well, it's healthy up unto a point and I do prep a lot better than a lot of people in the way that I don't cut out food groups. I still eat all types of meat, vegetables of all colours, fruit, dairy... you name it. I really love trying out new recipes and eating healthy. I do really have to be mindful of my health when it comes to dieting and training because of my health condition - I just can't keep pushing like a lot of people or I could make myself sick. In that way it's a blessing, I have to be healthy by default
I do want to get leaner. I'm still probably holding at least 5lbs more fat than I am comfortable with. It's not that I'm not lean enough... more the fact that I'm already quite a large person and if I don't get leaner then I have trouble fitting into my size 14 clothes. I really am fitting comfortably in the size 16's at this point, but I don't want a new wardrobe. I envy all those tiny girls with muscle - they can build to their hearts content and still shop in normal stores. I'm on the brink of fat lady stores and it does depress me a little. I like being muscular but not if it means I can't fit into normal sized clothes!
I think I'm just going to continue to prep and see how I feel about it in a couple of months. At the moment my regime is pretty reasonable - lifting 4 times a week and cardio-ing 2-4 times a week. Anyway, feel free to post your thoughts or encouragement cos I need it.
Today and yesterday I had a break from dieting. Yesterday was our wedding anniversary so that was going to be a cheat meal and beers anyway. So yesterday I only ended up eating one meal and drinking beer... LOL. Today was pretty healthy, but I didn't count anything. I had eggs benedict for breakfast, a berry smoothie and green curried tofu with roasted veggies for dinner. Definitely not enough protein but oh well.
Actually let me give you that tofu recipe as it is divine (thanks Sam!)
Roasted Green Curry Tofu
1 block of organic tofu drained and patted dry
100ml organic coconut cream
1 heaped tablespoon of green curry paste
chopped vegetables tossed in olive oil, cracked pepper and sea salt. I used 1/2 red pepper, red onion, roasted pumpkin and brussel sprouts.
Mix coconut cream and curry paste together. Marinate the tofu in coconut cream and green curry paste mixture for 30 minutes. Place in baking dish and surround with chopped veggies. Bake in oven @ 200 degrees celcius for about 30 minutes or until tofu is crispy. You can use the chemical tofu and coconut cream I just listed what ingredients I used